Thinking of Returning the Puppy to the Breeder? Read This First

The third week is when the phone call to the breeder gets made. I have made that kind of call. This is what I would want to know before making it again.

It is usually the third week. The novelty has gone, the nights have not improved, the children have gone back to arguing about whose turn it is, and one adult is standing in the kitchen with the breeder's number open on their phone. If that is you, I am not going to tell you not to call. I am going to tell you what I wish I had known before I made that kind of call myself.

Three things about the timing

The doubt is normal and it is early. In a survey of 500 puppy owners, one in four had considered rehoming their puppy within the first two weeks. You are in the most common window for this feeling, not an unusual one.

It passes for most people, and it passes soon. In a University of Helsinki study of 1,572 dog owners, just under half reported significant negative feelings during their dog's puppyhood. Among those who did, about one in five said it lasted under a month, and just over half said under six months. The hardest stretch is the one you are in.

The real crisis comes later, if it comes. Dogs given up to shelters in one US study had been in their homes for a median of eighteen months. The families who lose a dog mostly do not lose him in week three. They lose him a year later, because the problems of week three were never handled. You are in the window where handling still works.

A good breeder will take him back, and will ask you first

Serious breeders say, when you collect the puppy, that they will take him back at any age for any reason. They mean it. They will also ask you what the last three weeks looked like, because they have had this call before, and most of the time what they hear is a house that has not organised itself yet, not a puppy who is wrong for it.

Call them. Not to return him. To tell them what is happening and to ask what they see. That call is free and it is what they are for.

Six questions before the other call

Is it the hours or the dog? If it is the hours, the hours can be shared. Who has carried the work, and is it written down? Has the puppy had one set of words and one routine for a full week? Has a trainer seen him in your home? Is anyone in the house unsafe or genuinely afraid? What would be different in his next home?

If the honest answers point to a mismatch — a person who is frightened and cannot be protected, a dog whose needs no adult in the house can meet — then returning him to the breeder early is a responsible thing to do, and the breeder would rather have him back at twelve weeks than at twelve months. If the answers point to a house that has not yet got organised, you have a fortnight's work in front of you, not a phone call.

The fortnight

Write the rota, by name, including a night off for whoever has had none. Put one list of words on the fridge. Fix the routine: same times, same door, same spot. Get a trainer into the house once. Protect the person who needs protecting with a room, a route and a word. Then ask the six questions again in two weeks.

In our house the third week of the fourth dog looked like the third week of the first three. The difference was that this time we had decided in advance what a bad week was and what we would do in it. He stayed.

Free help

The free pack A bad week is not a verdict holds the six questions and an honest next step for each answer: mohamedabukhadra.com/help/bad-week.

My book After You Say Yes to the Dog is a set of practical manuals for the first weeks and the hard ones.

I am a father, not a trainer, a vet or a behaviourist. This is what worked in my house. Anything that touches safety, check with a professional who can see your dog and your home.

Sources: Zigzag survey of 500 owners, 2025, reported in The Independent; Ståhl et al., 2024, npj Mental Health Research 3:27; Powell et al., 2021, Frontiers in Veterinary Science 8.