Puppy's First Night at Home: Decide This Before Bedtime

Nobody in our house slept on the first night, four times over. By the fourth puppy we had learned that the first night is won at six in the evening, not at two in the morning.

The first night is the one everybody remembers. The crying, the pacing, the adult standing in the kitchen at two in the morning wondering whether to go in or not. We had four first nights in our house, and the fourth was calm. Not because the puppy was different, but because the decisions had been made before it got dark.

This is not advice about how to settle a puppy. A good trainer can give you that, and it depends on the puppy. This is about what the house decides in advance, so that at two in the morning nobody is deciding anything.

Decide where he sleeps, and do not change it at midnight

Where the puppy sleeps on the first night is where he sleeps. Pick the place in daylight: a crate or a pen, in a room where an adult can hear him, with his bed, water and something that smells of where he came from. Then hold it. The most common first-night mistake in our house was changing the plan at one in the morning because it was easier. The puppy learned, quite reasonably, that enough noise moves the bed. Decide once, and tell everyone the decision.

Name the person who gets up

Puppies need to go out in the night. That is not a problem; it is a fact. The problem is a house where nobody has been named, so the person who cares most hears the first whimper and gets up every time, and by day four cannot function. Before the first night, write down who gets up tonight, who gets up tomorrow, and who is off. If there is only one adult, write down what time they are allowed to stop and who covers the next morning. Tired people make poor decisions about dogs.

Agree what "going out" looks like

Lead on, out to the same spot, quiet voice, no play, back to bed. Say it out loud before bedtime so the person getting up does it the same way as the person who got up last night. A night trip that turns into a game is a puppy who has learned that two in the morning is playtime.

Tell the children what will happen

Children lie awake on the first night too. Tell them in advance: he will cry, that is normal, an adult will handle it, and you stay in bed. A child who creeps downstairs to comfort the puppy at midnight is doing it out of love, and is also undoing the plan. Give them a job for the morning instead: fresh water, the first bowl, sitting quietly on the floor while he wakes up.

Protect the person who did not want this

If someone in the house is afraid of dogs or was never keen, the first night is theirs to sleep through. Their room is a room the puppy does not enter. The route from their bed to the bathroom does not pass the puppy's bed. They are not on the night rota unless they put themselves there. In our house that person was my wife. The first night she slept, and the fourth dog stayed.

What the first morning decides

The first morning is the first repetition of the routine the puppy will live by. Same person, same door, same spot in the garden, same words. Then breakfast, then a quiet hour. Resist the visitors. The first day is not a party; it is the first page of a pattern.

Free help

The free pack The first day he is yours covers the first forty-eight hours hour by hour: who does what, where he sleeps, the night rota and the first morning: mohamedabukhadra.com/help/first-week.

My book After You Say Yes to the Dog is a set of practical manuals for the first weeks, written to be printed and kept on the fridge.

Related: Bringing a Rescue Dog Home: The First 48 Hours · Why Your Dog Only Listens to One Person in the House

I am a father, not a trainer, a vet or a behaviourist. This is what worked in my house. Anything that touches safety, check with a professional who can see your dog and your home.