Leaving a Puppy Alone: Plan It With a Trainer, Not by Trial

Sooner or later the front door has to close with the puppy on the other side of it. In many houses that happens by accident: the milk has run out, or a child needs collecting, and nobody else is free. The first time alone then becomes an experiment, and everybody finds out together how it goes.

Trying it and seeing sounds sensible. The trouble is that one try tells you very little. If it goes badly, you will not know whether the day was wrong, the room was wrong, the timing was wrong or something else was. Each person in the house will tell a different story afterwards, and you will have nothing written to take to the trainer.

You can plan it instead. This article is about the plan. It is not about the method, because I am not a trainer and the method belongs to someone who can see your puppy in your house.

Decide five things before the first time

Sit down with the other adults and write down five answers.

Who is home. One adult stays or comes back, and another leaves. A child is never the person left in charge of him.

When. Pick a day and put it on the rota. Choose a day when little else is changing, not the day the shopping ran out.

What he has. Where he will be left, what is in that place, and what the trainer says it should be.

Who checks. A neighbour or relative with a key, or a person you can phone, so that someone other than you knows how it went.

Who has been told. The neighbours, the other adults, and the children.

Ask a trainer for the method

I am not going to describe how a puppy gets used to being on his own. Ask a trainer for a plan in writing: what to do before you leave, what to do when you come back, how to build it up, and what to do if it goes badly. Ask when the first absence should happen as well as how, because the start date is the trainer's call too. Ask for it as a page that everyone in the household can read, so that whoever is home on the day follows the same steps. If you have not booked a trainer yet, do it before the day and not after it goes wrong.

Choose a quiet day

Look at the calendar before you pick the date. Avoid the day a visitor comes, the day of a vet appointment, the first Monday after the holidays and the day a child starts something new. A day with fewer changes gives you cleaner information to take back to the trainer.

Tell the neighbours first

Neighbours who share a wall, a fence or a landing will hear if he is unsettled. Tell them before the first time, say which day it will happen and give them your phone number. Ask them to ring you rather than to complain to each other. A neighbour who knows the plan can be patient with it.

Tell the children their part

Children own the routine and adults own the risk, and leaving him alone is the adults' decision. Tell the children when it is happening and what their part is: say goodbye the way the trainer suggests, do not open the door early, and leave the first look to the adult. They do not need the whole plan. They need to know what they do.

If the week will not wait

Sometimes you have to go out before there is a plan. Do not leave him alone to find out. Ask another adult to sit with him, a relative or a neighbour who has met him, and give them your words and the toilet times. Book the trainer's first visit the same day.

What the household owns

The trainer owns the method. The household owns three things: the plan, the timing and the follow-through. The plan is the written page. The timing is a date on the calendar, moved on purpose if the week goes wrong, not left to drift because nobody picked one. The follow-through is somebody writing down what happened when you came back, so the trainer has something to work from.

Write it in a few lines on the day. How long you were out is one fact you can give the trainer, and what you found when you came back is another. One hard day is information for them. It is not a verdict on him or on you.

Free help

The free pack The first day he is yours takes the first forty-eight hours hour by hour, so you can see which hours need an adult at home: mohamedabukhadra.com/help/first-week. My book After You Say Yes to the Dog has a manual on leaving him home alone, to read before the first day.

Related: Find a Vet and a Trainer Before the Puppy Comes Home · What to Ask a Dog Trainer Before You Book

I am a father, not a trainer, a vet or a behaviourist. This is what worked in my house. Anything that touches safety, check with a professional who can see your dog and your home.